On Sunday, 1st, December, 2008, Sharjah Handicap Guardian Association organized a workshop under the title "releasing tension of families with disabled persons" in which Mrs. Reita Mirhig the head of Lebanon Friends of the Disabled Association lectured.
Mrs. Reita Mirhig started the workshop by assuring that large numbers of parents have become experts in the field of disability due to the daily relationship with their disabled children. In addition, enormous amounts of specialized books, brochures, documents, and TV programs are available for everyone. Nowadays, specialists learn a lot from parents. For example, the best books written about autism are authored by parents.
Then, she discussed the long journey parents take between desperation and hope after diagnosing their child's disability. Parents at first are in shock. However, a more serious feeling is formulated after that. Parents feel desperation because of ignorance and fear of the unknown. This may cause frustration. By time passing away, this may turn into extreme rage and hatred. Parents must overcome this feeling or it will ruin therapy and family life.
The best way to overcome these feelings is by avoiding denial by talking about it. It is very useful to speak to a third person such as relatives, friends, or family counselor. Parents must realize that these feelings are natural and they should overcome it in order to concentrate on therapy.
Self educating, connecting specialized institutions, and looking for a constant team to work with other families with disabled children are procedures that must be taken by parents in order to raise their disabled child properly.
Mrs. Reita Mirhig mentioned few parents' mistakes when dealing with disabled children such as over-caring. For instance, parents might spend their whole time looking after their disabled child that leads him to be fully dependent on them rather than being independent. It may also affect the couple's sex life and the relationship between parents and other children.
The disabled child's siblings under the age of three years old, who have a very strong sensation, may feel their mothers' anxiety towards her disabled child. They may also notice that their brother is not growing up like he should be. Therefore, they may try to imitate their mother by looking after their brother. However, they don't understand the meaning of disability and thus may get upset from their mother because she spends too much time with her disabled child. Consequently, they may behave childishly in order to draw the mother's attention. Therefore, the mother should take these actions seriously because it is a message from her children in order for her to reconsider the division of her passion.
At the end of the first day lecture, Mrs. Reita Mirhig gave some general instructions about the siblings of the disabled such as feeding them with proper information about their disabled brother according to their ages and mind capabilities. The information should be given one at the time and not in a scary way. Parents should use sincere and spontaneous words rather than negative ones. They should tell their children that their disabled brother is part of the family and not its center. They should divide their love, attention, and time evenly between them.
Moreover, the parents should assure their children that they are special because they look after their disabled brother and try to maintain family structure as much as possible. They should ease their daily life.
The second lecture discussed teenage stage and adulthood. A disabled adult is the person who needs intensive training in order to acquire skills that can guarantee a decent life to him. He needs monitoring, following, and guidance. Yet, he has more capabilities than a disabled child.
Mrs. Reita Mirhig pointed out few differences between teaching a disabled child and an adult. For example, the main goal of teaching children is to change their behavior, while teaching an adult aims at directing his behavior within positive orientation. Over-caring is considered to be the worst way to help disabled youths. It may lead to fast collapse of basic skills.
Then, she talked about the significance of work for disabled adults. She indicated 4 different types of work such as safe work, where the disabled learns a certain skill then he practices it. This kind of work aims at improving human's behavior. It is considered the best kind for autism adults with just little behavioral problems. Anther kind is competitive work, which is more advanced. The disabled is more independent and free to move.
Mrs. Reita assured that the new era for the disabled is going to be good because of advanced services, specialized sciences, articulation therapy, and increased TV programs about disability. Consequently, the disabled will claim their rightful place in developing their countries. It is worth mentioning that there were some practical sessions in order for students to practice what they have learned in the workshop.
Mrs. Mona Abed Kareem the head of SCHS's research department & the member of Sharjah Handicap Guardian Association general board has assured that this workshop is part of their annual plan to evaluate the suffering of parents with disabled children.
She pointed out that parents interacted positively with Mrs. Reita. They expressed their problems freely. Therefore, other institutions should organize such workshops more frequently in order to provide parents with more innovative solutions.